No, it doesn't end tonight.

So another week has passed just like that. I rarely get the chance nowadays to update this blog of mine so please bear with the stagnent-ness of it all. Well, nothing really interesting happened this week. School was as usual a chore, dreading everyday of it. There's really not much to look forward to in school. I'm just going to school because i have to, and i make my way through the day tutorial by tutorial, lecture by lecture. I can't say that there has been one day i spent in sa that has been really really fun, besides maybe orientation. But that doesn't count. Even in cj i made a small group of friends in my class whom i could crap around with and that was fun. And of course, needleess to say, sji was really fun. Now, i have serious doubts about really fitting into my class. Its like most of them are on a totally different wavelength from me. Its bad to the extent that i've sort of been reduced to this quiet, introverted anti-social who doesn't talk to anyone. That's probably how they perceive me right now, and i don't blame them for it. It's just that i can't really stand this "version" of me. It's not right.

Of course its not totally that bad. At least i have the consolation of some people whom i'm not "scared off" by. Thank goodness for these people. They're probably the only thing that keeps me sane in sa. Up till now you may think what i've said is a little farfetched. I admit that i may have exaggerated some points, but you get the drift of what i'm trying to say. Anyways, one, and maybe the only benefit from all this is that i would probably be forced into doing my work and stuff like that. But sad to say it hasn't been happening.

I can't believe how lazy i've become since i entered sa. Haven't done any work whatsoever at home. The only things i've done have been during the tutorials itself and because of that i'm really REALLY far behind in my work. I need the day to come when i finally decide to get down to my work and actually do it. From then on it would be much easier to do homework and stuff. I've been telling myself this countless times and yet haven't done it. This morning i told that to myself as well, but i'm almost certain that i won't do it. I've really become this lazy piece of shit. Tsk...

This morning i also realised something. I realised that there were many instances in the past month or so studying in sa, when i regretted not going back to cj after the o' level results. Whenever that happens, i just console myself with the fact that cj is too fun for me to be able to do proper studying and get good grades, while sa has that slight environment of seriousness which i need to get work done. My decision to go to sa really bugs me at times, so i rather not think about it. It's too late to do anything anyways.

Well then, that's a piece of my mind for today. Was supposed to go "study" with joyce, weijia, vicki and don't-know-who-else today, but they initially cancelled it. But after that joyce said it was on again, but by then i had already told my mum that i would be going for lunch. So i'm here at home with nothing better to do. Actually i do have lots of better things to do, like studying, or doing my homework, but being the lazy shit i am, i'm not. I'll stop here.