No, it doesn't end tonight.

Okay lets start from where i left off. Nothing really significant happened on wedesday, except that i stayed up til pretty late to look at mars. Well, at least i think what i was looking at WAS mars. Should be la, it was a bright red shining star. Actually heard it would appear as large as the moon, that's why i had my doubts. Anyways, had to climb out of my window to get a good look at it. Tried to take photos but it turned out really sucky. Couldn't see a damn thing. Only a little red dot.

The next day i woke up late, because i only had to report to school for chem practicals at 1315. Woke up and watched some tv first. Was watching this Al Pachino movie, found it really good. Heh, i seem to like most of his movies. That one, then The Recruit which i watched on DVD some time ago. After that i had lunch and then left for school. The practicals was really shitty. The titration part was okay i guess, but my reading was 18.95, but the actual was somewhere around 19.3 or something like that. Then for the other section i think i was the only one who had ammonia gas evolving. The damn litmus paper turned blue, so i wrote ammonia. Idiotic... I hate practicals. They're only fun during normal lessons, when you can play around and stuff, but when it comes to exams i always screw it up. Sickening... After that jason wanted to go and watch SWAT. But it was almost 4pm already and by the time the movie ended... Yea so didn't go. Went home and just stoned.

Today had teachers day celebrations in school. There was some message being passed around yesterday about wearing PE to school or something like that. And i got like three different messages from three different people. So i just wore my school uniform and brought my PE uniform. We still had maths lesson in school today, kinda stupid to have classes on teachers day. I wasn't really paying attention anyways. Nothing surprising. Then had one period of elective humans. We waited bout ten minutes for jeremy liew to come in, then saw him at the opposite block walking around. Slacker... He saw us i guess remembered he had lessons with us. So when he came in, talked a little cock for a while, then asked us, "you all still want to have lessons ah?" Heh, real slacker. You could guess our answer so after that he just walked out of the class. Perfect teacher. Heh... So after that we went to the PAC for the teachers day concert.

I'll start a new paragraph because i've got lots to say about it. It was pretty much alright i guess, except the skit by 405. That was plain stupid and irritating. Especially eugene. Gosh what the hell!? Damn faggot. And then there was this dance, where sean was performing. Never knew he was so pro. Heh everybody said he was the best dancer. Pretty cool. Then there were the bands. (sigh) 409 sucked. I'm sorry for being a bastard in saying this but yes, lousy. You could ask imran for his comments about the drummer. All i've got to say is they played with no life, sang with no life, and.. you can't even consider that playing. The prefects band was quite good. Especially that moses guy. Pro sia... Then there was the teachers band, okay i guess. I did enjoy myself though, we were making noise and playing a fool throughout the show. Last year in sji already, and since we're not having fun up on stage, we'll have fun in the seats.

So after that we went to change and then go for the ever-so-fun-and-exciting aces workout. Went onto the field, under the sun, and did the damn dancing and punching and kicking shit. Me and most of the other sec 4's just moved around and did it totally lifeless. Stupid waste of time, so i'll skip any other details.

After dismissal we went to NIE for soccer. There were a bunch of acs people there when we got there. So after some time they agreed to play against us. Well, since i'm not in the mood to twist my words or whatever i'll get straight to the point. I set up norman for the first two goals, pretty early in the match. We practically owned them throughout the match. They never really threatened our goal. Somewhere halfway during the match, one stupid acs guy lunged at me with his shoe and he hit my shin. It was freaking pain for a while, then after that it was okay. But he definately left a mark. There's a picture of my shin at the bottom of the entry, go take a look. Anyways it was goal-less for a VERY LONG time, but of course we still controlled the game. I missed a few chances myself, but in the end i scored one from the side, something similar to how i scored the last time i came to NIE. Helped into the goal by the keeper. After that continued playing for a while amongst ourselves and then headed home. That was at least 3 solid hours of soccer. Crazy man...

Now i am sunburnt all over, half tanned, have a bruised shin and a freaking pain headache. So i guess i'll go to sleep early tonight. Got nothing on tomorrow so i'll probably sleep as long as possible.

No more date. (sigh)


That's my shin, and that's the really cool looking bruise. Courtesy of an acs idiot.

I ripped this from alexthegirl.com, hope she doesn't mind. I just wanted to let you all see read something i find quite interesting, gets you thinking. Yea new layout by the way.

Ten years ago, I was a 19 year old girl who had moved to New Zealand and was spending my days surfing. One afternoon, I got a call from my father who told me that my brother-in-law of eight years had just died in an accident.

I took a flight home the next day and went to my sister's house. It became my job to answer the phone and hang up - it was just the media calling, wanting details. They didn't care that we were grieving when they had an audience who wanted gory pictures.

My brother in-law was a well-known stunt man in the entertainment industry. He didn't die on a movie set; he died jumping out of a plane like he had done for ten years. The only difference was that on that day, a man decided to take his 10 year old daughter for a sky dive to celebrate her birthday. The little girl went first on a tandem dive, and waited on the ground to watch her father. He did a tandem jump with my brother in-law and then he panicked. His fear became so strong he paralysed my brother-in law's arms and prevented him from opening the chute. The fought and struggled the whole way down.

Neither of them made it.

My sister had just left to get them lunch, when she returned, she returned to her husbands crumpled body, head half gone as it was smashed into the ground. A little girl cried hysterically, screaming, "I killed my daddy." My brother in law's best friends had watched him fall to his death, helpless. None of their lives would ever be the same.
The media didn't care.

My family's tragedy of losing a wonderful, caring, kind man, who had been in our lives for ten years, became nightly entertainment for thousands of people. The suffering each one of us had to endure, the nightmare that was our lives, was gossip in the morning paper. No one stopped to think that there was families suffering the most horrible thing you could imagine because everyone was so used to seeing it on the nightly news. My family would have to deal with the media tourment on top of a death, but luckily it would only be for a little while until something just as bad happened to another family.

The day we buried my brother in-law, reporters flashed their cameras and talked trash while they waited to report it on the news. I, however, held my mum on my right side and my sister on my left, and tried to keep them up while their bodies kept giving out due to grief.

I do not watch news on television. In fact, I don't watch television at all. I don't find suffering entertainment. I don't find other people's tragedies something enjoyable. It's like going to India, Iraq, Uganda and being a tourist amongst horrific situations and snapping photo's of all those suffering and starving. You do nothing to help them because their suffering isn't yours. You don't feel sad for what you see, in fact, you don't feel anything at all. It's just tv - or a vacation - after all.

Sitcoms that are supposed to be funny are filled with wise cracks, mean jokes, stereotypes and arguments. Dramas are filled with murder and rape cases that you're supposed to follow along as you rest from a hard days work. Reality TV is the rage, watching people lie and cheat and steal from each other as we chug a beer and remember the good parts to talk about at work tomorrow.

This is our entertainment. We don't think it's bad, in fact, we're getting satellite so we can see more. We forget that the news story just covered deals with real people, that the sitcom full of anger, mean jokes, and stereotypes only perpetuates more crap in our life and that the rape drama on TV is someone's living nightmare and not just a way for us to spend an hour.

People try to eat healthy, they try to exercise so their bodies look healthy. Inspirational, self-help books are all the rage and therapy use is at an all time high. Yet none of that means one bloody thing if we continue to make people's suffering part of our daily dose of entertainment. Watching television all glossy eyes, being non-chalant, not noticing and even making a "family night" of these shows is just as bad, I believe, as if we were to stand and watch a shooting happen right in front of us and do nothing. Would you bring popcorn to the event that caused my brother in-law to die?

I wonder what would happen if people disconnected from their TV's for even just one week. If anyone could do it. If they didn't get their daily does of 5PM fear, if they didn't get their "realty TV screw over-a-thon," or the nightly murders to solve. I wonder what would happen. If people couldn't watch tragedy over and over and over again, I wonder if it would mean something when they saw it and if they would live more, have more compassion, if they would have more first hand experience rather than just vicarious violent ones via a TV. I wonder if people stopped to think about that what they see on the news is actually affecting someone somewhere, and rather than just watching it, if they could do something. I wonder what would happen if people disconnected from the TV, and instead, started connecting to life.

I wonder if it would be better. I wonder if we've gone too far to turn back.

(Note: Please do not write me about to say how sorry you are for this to have happened. The point of this post wasn't just to talk about someone dying, to gather pity, to make you feel sad because "you're supposed to." It wasn't supposed to be "another story about something tragic" that you'll forget about when you listen to the news on the way to work tomorrow morning and hear something bigger. Also, when I refer to "news" it's to American News as it's sensationalised, fear driven news that isn't actually meant to inform. (Watch BBC or CBC news and you'll understand the difference.) The post was to make you think and if you're not sure what about, then you need to think harder.)

Okay, bamanshaw said that the teachers would sometimes give two conversation topics to a student even if he's good already. They want to "help him do even better". Either that or it was the other extreme of being really shitty and getting the second topic as a lifeline. I hope my case is the former. But like i said, i've already come up with a plan to get my A1 for english in the worst case senario that i barely pass my oral.

Lately i've been trying to learn new Sum 41 songs. Taking a "break" from Blink 182 for a while. Don't worry i won't forget them totally. Heh... Never ever. There was actually a slight chance that we (fishstick) might have been able to perform at crescent today. This morning. Found out the news just maybe 3 or 4 days ago. Talk about late notice. Anyways, imran's friend said that we could perform, so we sort of planned what songs to do and stuff and i had to re-learn GSF and learn Rock Show. Of course i was excited, the first time playing in front of an actual audience. Besides the kindred spirits and teachers day auditions. Nervous too. But in the end, yesterday, his friend suddenly said that we couldn't play anymore. That really pissed imran off but i didn't really give a shit. I did have my doubts about it right from the start. I mean, 3 days notice is really REALLY late and just about impossible to work out. Plus they haven't even heard us play before what makes them so sure we actually CAN play at all? Nevermind. There will finally be a first time we actually can perform. The next event that we can possibly be in is the graduation dineer at the end of the year. Ben Wang supposedly has already approached imran about performing then and imran supposedly agreed. Well i'm pretty sure he would agree if asked. Don't know what kind of songs would be appropriate for that occasion. Actually i don't really give a flying fish. As long as we can play i'm happy.

So because we can't play at crescent this morning, i wanted to go to school and watch them having training for a while then go play street soccer. BUT, i figured there wouldn't be anyone else there so it'd be really funny and stupid. Plus after what that guy did to george and ng, i never want to have anything to do with him anymore. I think just about all of us hate his guts. Bastard. Of course i won't mention his name here. For two reasons, one being if someone who isn't supposed to read this does, and who's not supposed to open his big fat mouth and tell the whole world what i wrote does do it, then i can just go screw myself. And the second being its too *ed up to be put up here. Can't stand him man. Ugh. I've got so much i just want to rant about him but there's too much to write. So i'll spare him the face. Piece of shit...

Also was supposed to play soccer this afternoon at IJ. BUT i couldn't get anyone else to come and play. Besides mike and ian kok. So what? Three people? Ya right... So i didn't go. Just stayed at home and literally stoned. Today was a super boring day. Played a little bit of Fifa 2003 on my computer, watched a bit of tv, had lunch, played a little more, played the guitar for a while and stoned the rest of the time. Wanted to go play squash but as again... Nobody to play with. Sometimes i wish there was school. Its much more productive than days without school.

On thursday, after getting mauled in class by the bunch of them i went to play sepak takraw in the parade square. I had missed the first day because of my oral, so i definately was not missing today. The NCC (Land) team was made up of syed, qi hao, sara and me. We were on for the first game of the day against rugby. We beat them 15 - 6 or something like that. Then we had to play right away for the next match against track. Of course we had about five minutes to rest. We beat them 15 - 9. That meant we went into the finals to face canoeing. So for that match, we played two sets instead. The first set was quite close, narrowly beating them 15 - 13. Then the next set was even closer. We were leading 7 - 2 at one point in time, and they managed to come back and were leading us 11 - 13 or something. We fought back to tie them at 14 - 14. There wasn't any deuce so that meant the next point won. And of course we won. 15 - 14. Finally NCC (Land) was the champion team after three years. 2001 - 3rd, 2002 - 4th, 2003 - 1st. So the next day it was the prize presentation during assembly. They annouced the winners and we went to receive our medals. Then there was the best player award, that for some bizzare reason it was awarded to me. Heh i'm not complaining or anything its just that its quite amazing for someone like me to get that award despite only playing on the last day and doing just about nothing. So yea, another two medals to put on my shelf. It's beginning to look quite cool. =)

Anyways, Man U's going to be playing quite soon so i'm off. +D

Oral today was a disaster. The passage was pretty alright i guess, but i still stumbled once or twice and subconciously turned some words into something else. I don't know but after my Mid Year orals and what Roger said to me about my reading ("near perfect"), i guess it's alright. And like what he said about my picture description, in not so many words, lousy, i really screwed it up. I could talk about the picture for a while, then i started getting prompted again and again and fucking again. And all i answered was just one-liners, i wanted to talk somemore BUT, i didn't have anything else to say. Stupid shit. So reading's okay, picture's not, all i've got left to save my ass is the conversation. An occasion where I attended a speech. First thing that came to my mind was the Annual Parade and the speech give by that army guy. I basically crapped my way through and at the same time getting quite a few prompts. But at least this time i replied with a little more that a sentence. So after a while, they come up with another conversation topic. Something about people playing a joke on you and how you would feel. Once again i used whatever creativity i had to cook up some shit to tell them and of course, many prompts. The prompts were just killing me. Everytime they gave another one i felt even more shittier.

Anyways, after the oral i met victor, joseph and wei xiang in the canteen. So i asked them about the conversation, and it happened that all of them only had to answer ONE conversation topic, whereas i had to answer TWO. It really scared me thinking that maybe i did so badly for the first topic that they gave me the second one as a lifeline to save my butt, like what salman told me in the bus later on. But the fact that they had to give me a second topic is really bad. I thought i was the only one but seems that timo also had to answer both. At least that took a little weight off my shoulders. Then while talking to kel, i told her about my oral and she said that they give second conversation topics because they didn't feel like they have properly assessed you yet so they give you another topic. I don't know, i hope that's the real reason. Maybe i was just too good. (Yea right.)

Was supposed to play sepak takraw after school today. The annual inter-CCA competition which we won third placing two years ago and fourth last year. But because of the stupid oral exam i couldn't play. NCC (Land) played 4 games and won all 4. What more can you ask? Next day of competition is this coming Thursday. So i guess i won't be really going all out during PE that day, or not i'd be to shagged to play after school.

I don't really have the inspiration now to write anything more, so i'll write other stuff another day.

Prelims are just a couple of weeks away, i think, and i'm the least bit proud to say that i still haven't gotten down so serious revision. O level English oral's this Tuesday, and like I said the topics that have been coming up are scaring me. "Is music essential in life?" Maybe i could converse about that if i had time to prepare, but just like that in front of two intimidating teachers i've never seen before? Not that easy. I can't screw up my oral, because that would in turn mean i screw up my english, and then my whole *ing O levels. Not something i had in mind. Guess i'll just have to do my best (so cliche) and hope i don't screw it up. I need the 1 for english. NEED.

Yesterday i had to go back to school to return my NCC uniforms. Finally after 4 very long and stressful years in the NCC, i can relax. Maybe you think I was that super enthu kind of person so I could get my post and what not, i guess you thought wrong. I never ever thought of joining NCC when i was in Sec 1. I remember being screwed out of track because during the trails some ass ran into my lane and cut me off, soccer was only offered as a second CCA, and i had pretty much zero interest in any other CCA. When the time came to fill up the CCA forms, i went to put NCC (Land) as my first choice for a UGO. And i was called up for the trials, and got selected. It was miserable, but i just did what i had to do. The only reason i kept coming back every Saturday was the friends i made. I dreaded training. But in August that year i won that award. I really don't know why, i didn't even work hard for it. Maybe that's why it seems meaningless up there on my shelf.

Anyways, wanted to play street soccer after that, but the Sec 2's had their streaming talk so the court had cars all around it. Plus CF was there and Ng had something against Jude Tan who was also there so we decided to go to Tanglin CC to play. It was quite fun until it started to rain, then had to run in the rain to the busstop, then from my busstop all the way back home. Was freezing my ass off when i got home. Was supposed to go play soccer in IJ later that afternoon but Glen called saying there'd only be 3 of us there, so he cancelled the thing altogether. So i was left at home with nothing to do, so i slept.

Today went to church as usual, breakfast at the market with rea and leslie as usual, cat class as usual, boring as usual. Came home then went for lunch. I ate pretty quick then had to rush off to boon lay mrt station to meet the church people for soccer at NTU. The team played quite well, we drew 2 - 2, and considering we got whooped 7 - 1 last time we played this team. But i really sucked today. I don't know if it's the boots or what (i was wearing my old pair of tight and worn out boots), but i played like shit. Ah anyways, not many people would know how i feel about soccer so i won't elaborate. Finished up watching The Recruit on DVD after dinner, it's a pretty good movie. Actually its really good. Well, i enjoyed it thoroughly. The mind games and twists and turns and surprises. Pretty cool.

Well, i guess tomorrow Amy Chua's going to be at her craziest again going through the countless papers we have, and i haven't done them. Guess i'll be just copying down everything and hoping she doesn't notice me. It's been like this for quite a while already. Been caught maybe twice? But nothing serious has happened. I'm pushing my luck, it might just end soon. I can't play anymore of these stupid shit ass games.

Let's start working. Now.

Surprised? I actually had this blog for quite some time if you haven't noticed already. I just never told anyone about it. Particularly because its pretty much empty and useless. But now i've decided to maybe re-start blogging. So here's my "first" entry. Okay, lets go back a few days.

Got a C6 for my Chinese O's and a 'pass' for my Chinese oral. I don't care what you or other people think but i'm fine with my results being like this. I'm actually quite happy. I was constantly failing Chinese since I came into Secondary school. Had this CRAZY Chinese tuition teacher, who expected me to get an A1 for him. A1!? Like what the..? Anyways i still continued under him for some time before he finally realised i'm not worth teaching, and stopped coming altogether. I still failed my exams of course. But after he left and the torture had been lifted from me, i actually improved on my chinese. With bi-weekly tests every Saturday in Sec 4, and my OWN studying, i got a C6. Not bad. Not bad at all. I know Kel had a C6 too and she's crazy over it, just like how i feel. Welcome to the my-chinese-is-that-damn-lousy club. That was Tuesday.

Today, had 2.4 during PE. I ran 11.15. Pretty good for my standards, that's a B. So if my maths doesn't suck as bad as my chinese, i got 29 points for my NAPFA this year. I can never get an A for my 2.4, so screwed up.

Sit-ups - 50 A
Pull-ups - 8 A
Sit and Reach - 62cm A
Shuttle Run - 9.5s A
Broad Jump - 250cm A
2.4km - 11.15 B

Haha sorry for writing it as though i'm showing off and being so arrogant about it and all. I couldn't help it. =) Guess that i AM arrogant. I DO have a big ego if you didn't know. Anyways, after PE i was super tired. Was supposed to go play soccer for MFC against some dunno-what-shit Sec 3 team BUT they cancelled the match or some shit like that. Stupid irritating buggers. So they decided to change to the smaller field and play amongst ourselves. I couldn't really be bothered to go after that. I lent Benedict my boots so i didn't have to carry them around with me. Instead, aaron, jason, victor and I went to lido to meet pearlynn for a movie. Watched The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It was damn bloody good. Even though we had to sit in the second row from the front in a TINY cinema with a TINY screen. I might want to watch it again on Sunday or something. Oh yeah, met brendan and some others there too.

Having English oral next tuesday. I think. If tuesday's the 19th then i'm correct. Heard about what kind of *ed up topics there were and its getting me scared. Like, "What are the pros and cons of modern day medicine?" and "What are the dangers of traditional chinese medicine?" Yea exactly, what the..? Poor kel. Heh...

Okay then its time to stop writing.